Mon Dec 15, 2003 10:39 PM
Just suffered thru The
Hulk. Oh my ghod was it bad. Here’s some general rants
about this fetid pile of parrot droppings. (My apologies to
parrot droppings).
Why is it that most recent movies insist on making dialog so soft it’s
hard to hear it, but making the explosions and other stupidity
so loud it breaks your speakers? I guess it gives more dramatic
impact to the move, but I find it so annoying that it’s hard to
describe. When watching the DVD at home I tend to keep a window
(yes, I watch moves on a computer) open on my laptop logged into
the move machine with the mixer up and ready. I have to turn it
up for dialog and down for big boom shit. Fucking Hollywood.
This movie had about 1 dimension. Ok, so you show a cute collage of
Bruce growing up in the credits, but that doesn’t really make us
care about him. There wasn’t really any character there. How
about some footage of him before he hulked? Why should we
fucking care what happens to him? Why?
Granted that the military isn’t the smartest thing in the world, but
they should be able to learn from their mistakes. Why on fucking
earth would they keep trying to kill the hulk when they know
that it’s just making him madder and madder?
Special effects are fun, but hours and hours of them in a row is
boring and useless. Without any kind of a story or anyone we
care about at all, special effects just make your move cost more
and us madder that we wasted time watching it.
Jennifer Connelly
is cute and all, but thats not enough to make a movie. Well, a
non porno at least. Of course on one of the irc channels I
frequent, the discussion was: What happened with her breasts?
She was flat (and very cute) in labyrinth. Then she was gigantic
in the rocketeer. Goggle seems to say that she did have
reduction surgery, and also lost weight and had a
kid. Personally I liked her best when she isn’t as endowed.
Why do they always have to make a ending so they can have the opening
for the sequel? Christ. I sure hope there isn’t a sequel to this
craptacular POS.
I had a bottle of wine with dinner and the movie tonight. I should
have opened the vodka. Or perhaps the bottle of ever-clear.